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The Boke and Tsukkomi Routine: Contest #1

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The Boke and Tsukkomi Routine: Contest #1

Post by Guest on Tue Apr 24, 2012 7:59 pm

What to do in this topic: Post Manzai (japanese standup comedy) scripts. The contestants participate in pairs, with a specific name for their team. (Example, in the script that's in this post, Shinju and Houju are Samu-atsu.) Everyone is free to participate.
The entries are judged by 5... well, judges that mark it between 0 and 100 (the score is very often above 90), and well, since I opened this contest I'm gonna choose the 5 judges: Ragna, Noel, Jubei, Jin and Kokonoe.
Let's start this show.

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Entry number 1: Samu-atsu

Houju: Hey, hello everyone! ^_^
Shinju: Hello.
Houju: Look, there are so many... ^_^
Shinju: People..?
Houju: Pipsqueaks.
Shinju: We're on a stage... >_>
Houju: Seriously, I didn't know the average human was like 3 foot tall...
Shinju: Because it isn't.
Houju: Well, let's do our best. ^_^
Shinju: Of course.
Houju: It's good to be alive for real...
Shinju: It is.
Houju (daydreaming): I've been waiting for nine months- ^_^
Shinju (alarmed): That's only four! OX
Houju: Eh?.
(pause)
Houju: I felt like a baby when I came out of Colonel Relius's cape.
Shinju (pissed): No you didn't! DX (one-second pause) What age are you, six?
Houju: No, I'm zero...
(Camera angle change, Shinju on the foreground is looking at the opposite of where Houju is)
Shinju: What did I do for this...? Help me, Jin...
(Camera gets back to normal, Houju has a silly smile and Shinju looks pissed.)
(pause)

Houju: So that last time I was on a mission and-
Shinju: You have only one mission...
Houju: Yeah, I was on my mission and I saw some handsome guys.
Shinju: Don't tell me you-
Houju: I felt like hooking up. ^_^
Shinju (very alarmed): WHAAAAAAT?!?!
Houju: I don't know why they fled... -.-
Shinju (silently): What kind of guy wants to sleep with a clone of a S-Rank criminal...?
Houju: I feel like I have the plague with people avoiding any proximity with me...
Shinju: Of course, there's a problem somewhere.
(Camera angle change, we only see Houju's back while she's broding in the corner, with rabbit ears on her)
Houju (sadly): Houju will die if she's lonely...
(Camera gets back to normal, Houju looks sad, Shinju is unphazed)
Shinju (takes the rabit ears off Houju's head): You're not a rabbit! >_>
Houju: Maybe Colonel Relius gave me rabbit genes-
Shinju: Why would he do that?! D<
Houju: Rabies then?
Shinju: Rabies has nothing to do with this! DX
(pause, Houju has a silly smile on again, Shinju is pissed)
Houju: Nothing?
Shinju: Nothing to do with this!...
Houju: Doesn't help I'm lonely.
Shinju: Can't help you with this... (goes off the camera's angle)
Houju (crying): NOOOOO! Don't leave me alo-o-o-one! (pause) (falls like she died)
(Shinju comes back and holds Houju in her arms, crying over her)

Shinju (acting like a bad tragedy comedian): Why did you die?! WHYYYY?! I always loved you, and here you go, engulfed in-
Houju (wakes up): What?
(pause)
Houju: You... loved me? o.o
Shinju (serious): No. Seriously, if I'd see someone that actually loves you,
Both of them (ending Shinju's sentence): I'd be startled!
Houju: What are you making me say?! D<
Shinju (mischievous smile): Hm?
Houju (bashes Shinju's head): What were you thinking, insulting me, you b*tch?!
Shinju (shrugs): Imitating your beloved Hazama-samaaaaa... <3
Houju (bashes Shinju again): That's Aomi's line!!! D:
(pause, Shinju sports her mischievous smile, and Houju is pissed)
Shinju (fakely blushing): Oh no! I'm sooo sorry...
Houju: Noel Vermillion!? Now that's really pissing me off! I'm gonna kick your ass, b*tch!
Shinju (sensually): You don't have to be so rough, Sister! ^_^
Houju: I'm not Ragna the f*cking Bloodedge, freak! D<
Shinju: Thanks Captain... (Houju sighs) ...Obvious.
Houju: That's it, cut it out! D:
Shinju: Thanks for watching.

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Voting:

Ragna's score:
Noel's score: *91* Comment: "The end was really tense... But the role switching was really funny, as most of the jokes. The final was good too."
Jubei's score: *95*
Jin's score: *85* Comment: "The beginning was really fun, but while I was having fun, you took it too far and the atmosphere becomes too hostile for a manzai. It looks too much like buildup for a cat fight in the end..."
Kokonoe's score: *silvervine candy* Comment: "That's some mean streaks you've been able to pull off. I feared you'd end up actually hitting yourself, but Shinju actually being the Boke in the end... it was something that had to be seen to be believed."

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Last edited by Noel Vermillion on Sat Jun 02, 2012 5:47 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: The Boke and Tsukkomi Routine: Contest #1

Post by Junesa Azai-Azuchi on Fri May 25, 2012 9:48 pm

Entry Number 2: Mizutaki

Rho: Yo, what brings you twerps here?
Tamurai: So rude, where are your manners?
Rho: Left in age of my uncaring. *yawns*
Tamurai: You are one foul mouth cur.
Rho: Pah! You're one to talk rover, why don't you go bury a bone?
Tamurai: You insulting scumbag, to think...
Rho: Oh really? you think puppy boy? Now speak! c'mon speak!
Tamurai: You are about forfeit your life to my weapon, for daring to dishonor-
Rho: Oh your poor, non-existent entite! Go dry up a creek with your chatter.
Tamurai: You leave me-
Rho: 'No choice, I will now rollover and play dead!'
Tamurai(Growing irritant): Tonight is a full moon, your chances grow slim.
Rho: For what? Survival or your baying at the moon? You bore me rover.
Tamurai: Hark upon what rusty window breaks...the tin woodsman.
Rho: Oh! (Clutches his chest and staggers as if he was hit.) Bestill my heart!
Tamurai(Grumbles lowly): I can see getting through to you will be as difficult.
Rho(Looks at him bored): You are an utter fool, you know that? Quit!
Tamurai: Sharing wisdom with fools is a must before you thrash them?
Rho(Blinks lightly.): Oh you wanna fight? (Smirks widely) You shoulda said so!
Tamurai: I thought something would reach-
Rho: Enough talk, more fight! (Throws a few jabs) I love a good scrap.
Tamurai: Pitiful conduct, you are a sham.
Rho: Sticks and stones buddy, though not even that could break my bones.
Tamurai: Oh the song! (Feigns a solo) We arreee youung!
Rho: (joins him) Where lives were sold short! And we went along!
Tamurai: Where I- (Gets hooked off stage by a large cane)
Rho: Guess its the one man show now, just my style! (Straightens his clown tie that was sudden there.) I start first with parlor tricks!
(Some grunts and sounds of blows landing off stage, before Tamurai walks back out, dusting himself off.)
Tamurai: Oh well, takes one to know one, a hack! (This spoken offscreen)
Rho: Eh, you have all the fun! (Pouts) What about my needs?!
Tamurai: Who cares about your needs? You are a hoodlum!
Rho: (fake sniffles and then lets off a flare of plasma) Gaah! You hurt me! D:! (Feigns being put off by it.)
Tamurai: (Is hit by the flare of plasma!) Why yooou! Blasting off again! (Flies high into the sky and eventually disappears in a star colored speckle.)
Rho: And that's the end for you. (Waves as he headed off, smirking widely at the entire factor.
Rho: Looks like that was great, heh Good night everyone!
Tamurai: (Suddenly comes back casually from his defeat) Good night everyone, hope you enjoyed!
Rho: (Rolls his eyes one more time) You still suck Fido.

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Voting:

Ragna's Vote:
Noel's Vote: *83* Comment: "While some bits were actually funny, it looks more like you are fighting, which is kinda what has to be avoided... I found a funny reference in the final, but it fell apart the goodbye was followed."
Jubei's Vote: *89*
Jin's Vote: *75* Comment: "Sorry to burst bubbles, but is this a manzai or a one-dollar-movie fight scenario? The Tsukkomi was bland, and the Boke quickly came to bore me... And the final..."
Kokonoe's Vote: *acid sweet* Comment: "There's something off about the whole sketch. Are you really trying to make us laugh? And Rho, when someone says goodbye, you DON'T say anything more. That really hurts, especially when it's an insult."
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Re: The Boke and Tsukkomi Routine: Contest #1

Post by Majamu on Sat Jun 02, 2012 5:09 pm

Entry number 4 (skipping n°3 'cause I like 4): Double Trouble
(Majamu & Jin Denzuki)

Jin: Hello!
Majamu: Yo!
Jin: <_< What's that for a greet?
Majamu (puts her arms behind her head): Hey, you said you wanna loosen up! 'showing an example!
Jin: I didn't say I wanted to be exceedingly familiar like everybody's my brother.
Majamu (looks like she's thinking): Really? Eeeeeh... (lays down on a chair, sounds base) Of course not!
Jin (looking alarmed): What the-?
Majamu: Hell? Crap? Fu-
Jin (interrupts Maju, sounding extremely alarmed): There are children here!!!
Majamu (looks at Jin): Children?
Jin (nods): Yes.
Majamu (looks at the crowd): Eeeeeh... (lays down on her chair and takes her base face again) Of course yes!
Jin (looking alarmed): That's not funny!
Majamu: That's not funny?
Jin: (lays down on a fold-in throne, base expression and robotic voice) OF_COURSE_NOT!
Majamu (explodes in laughter): YES! YES!!!
Jin: What!?
Majamu (has a silvervine candy in her mouth): THIS IS DELICIOUS!
Jin (looking alarmed again): That line's not yours!!!
Majamu: Not mine?
Jin: It doesn't even belong in here! It's from that weird Street Fighter anime!
Majamu: ... That is?
Jin: This is!
Majamu (sits down on her chair, base expression and voice again): Of course yes!
Jin (looking angry): That's the fourth time!!! ... That line is overused!
Majamu: But it is 0ober!
Jin: We're not talking about POKéMON!
(Jin looks angry, Majamu is still smiling daft)
Majamu: We're not.
(pause, both are looking at each other, a bit tense but excited)
Both (sitting on their chairs and taking the exact same base expression they've been using for a long time): Of course we're not!
(Majamu explodes into laughter, Jin just stands up looking at her like a beast in a zoo)
Jin (stands up and lays down on his arm which had a little table sprout out from it with drinks on it): Hey, wanna drink?
Majamu (stands up still almost laughing): Playing pimp? What the hell, I'll bite. (takes the drink)
Both (taking a toast): CHEERS!
Majamu (looks drunk): God I'm drunk...
Jin ('°_°): There are children!
Majamu (shining in blue and yellow lights): I'm invincible!
Jin: No that's not true!
Majamu: But now I can't drive. Would you drive me home?
Jin (DX): NO! ... Definitely NO! We have a sketch to finish!
Majamu: Well let's finish this!
Jin: Okay, now for a last thing, I'd like to dedicate that one to Tsutomu.
Majamu: Tsutomu?
Jin: Tokimoe.
Majamu (interrupts Jin, looking alarmed): That's MY name!
Jin (casually drinking): Well, that's his name.
Majamu: He just CAN'T have that name! Who tells me you're not making it up!?
Jin (bashes Majamu with his beer tin can): The one who will recognize this. (flips Majamu off and uses the Stone Cold Stunner on her)
(Pause, Majamu's knocked out cold)
Jin (impressed): Man, now I know why he enjoys those shows so much. Doing that feels pretty good!
Majamu (stands up coughing): Not for me!
Jin (sitting on his fold-in throne, taking base expression and robotic voice... AGAIN): OF_COURSE_NOT!
Majamu: Hey, you're going to the start, cut it out!
Jin: Thanks for watching.

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Voting:

Ragna's Vote:
Noel's Vote: *97* Comment: "Even if you fought, the whole segment was funny. Mr.Denzuki, I know Tsutomu got the reference. And as I recognized most jokes, I've been able to laugh during the entire sketch or near so. Congratulations."
Jubei's Vote:
Jin's Vote: *70* Comment: "Fine, fine... You're always using the same joke, and in two different flavors... only for the number of times you used it. Also, the other Jin... As long as I'm on this seat, you'll never ever beat me. I am the best Jin around, don't you forget!"
Kokonoe's Vote: *red-and-white striped candy bar with sparkles* Comment: "To be honest I expected less, but you've been able to re-use the same joke four or five times with amazing timing that still made it funny. Laughing about it afterwards made it even better."
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Re: The Boke and Tsukkomi Routine: Contest #1

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