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Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

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Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Jellal on Tue Jun 28, 2011 5:49 am

Name: Jellal Fernandes

Gender: Male

Age: 20

Race: Human

Appearance:

Jellal wears dark, navy blue cargo pants with a pair of basic black boots. He wears a dark purple, sleeveless under armor shirt covered up by a long sleeve, zipper up white jacket with a black line running down the middle. He dons a pair of black, leather gloves over his hand and he always wears a navy blue hooded robe with a gold imprint of what appears to be a gold wheel on fire sewn into it over all of his clothes. He has a light tan skin tone and lengthy, oddly colored ocean blue hair. His eyes are black in color and he has an odd looking tatoo marked around his right eye. No one knows where he got this tattoo as he had this marking even as a fairly young child.


Loyalty: He is loyal to nobody but himself

Personality: Jellal is mainly a calm, care free man, he always looks at life like a game of chess where you need to make sacrifices to get what you want. He always has a slight smile on his face until he is angry or stressed out. Whenever he fights he always tries to take a little bit of time before going full power because he is interested to see all of his combatants abilities before destroying them stating that it isn't fun to beat an enemy who's abilities are unknown. Whenever Jellal is bored and his enemies are trying to find them he takes a chess board with pieces with himself as the king, moving the pieces closer to them when the enemy gets closer. Jellal may act kind most of the time but when he is angry he can be the cruelest, evil person known to man, however he likes to insult the enemy unless he thinks they are strong enough to be a good opponent to him. Most of his compassion and friendly nature can be seen when he is talking with Murakumo Unit Zeta-6

Weaponry: Jellal wields a powerful Ars Armagus called Amatsu Bodi which unlike in the shape of a weapon or grimoire is actually the tatoo around his right eye. However it is always deactivated. His Amatsu Bodi allows Jellal to use his signature technique called Heavenly Body Magic Despite Jellal calling this technique as Magic it isn't magic at all however when most people see it the ones who do live to tell the tale say it looks as if Jellal used magic. His Heavenly Body Magic uses powers based off of Astronomy like stars, and even meteors into magic.

Abilities: Jellal mostly utilizes his Heavenly Body Magic through his Ars Armagus Amatsu Bodi with this as stated before he can use Astronomy based attacks like meteors, stars. However this Ars Armagus isn't the only thing that Jellal is skilled with. Jellal is also built up physical bulk for more than just special based attacking. Jellal has also formed a Link with Zeta-6 however it is only through Telepathy and Teleportation and is not a Life-Link. Jellal is able to speak with Zeta-6 via Telepathy.

Note: When Jellal activates his Ars Armagus Jellal recites his Ars Activation Code: "The Spacial Void of the Heavens, I command thee to grant me the power of the Astronomical Entities! Grant me my strength! Unleashing Ars Armagus!" When Jellal activates his Ars Armagus tattoo over his right eye the actual image of his right eye changes initializing the Ars Armagus' activation. Also another thing noticeable when activated golden, star like sparks flicker behind Jellal like a golden star aura.

Eyes image upon activation:


Master Ars Armagus User: Jellal has a high Ars Armagus use level, however his isn't as high as the 12th Subject Noel Vermillion his is exceptionally remarkable and exceeds several individuals. Using this level of power Jellal can use his Ars Armagus for extended periods of time making him a troublesome foe for even the strongest characters, to some extent however.

Master Hand to Hand combatant: Jellal himself has the body of a powerful fighter, his actually normal punches are powerful and will seriously hurt a foes body. This is mostly because when Jellal was enslaved as a child all the hard labor he was forced to do built up his physical strength and body as if he was in the military camp. Jellal is mainly a boxing based fighter but he is shown to utilize the Tae-Kwon-doe, and Judo fighting styles.

Skilled Strategist: Jellal always comes up with good strategies which is another reason why he drags fights out to see an enemies abilities. When he sees there abilities he starts to look at small hints of weakness and finally forms hypothesesis on how to counter act these abilities and physical strengths. Jellal also uses these strategies to play mind games on his foes and even form plans on how to defeat groups of enemies like small armies and gangs. He can also talk people to join his side of evil.

Heavenly Body Magic Basic Techniques: (I'm adding these moves because these are Heavenly Body Magic techniques that Jellal uses as basic Ars attacks.)

Heavenly Beams: Jellal forms a gold circle with his Ars and fires a total of seven star shaped swirling beams towards the foe, this attack is much weaker than Grand Chariot but is slightly faster so Jellal mainly uses this move on quick enemies.

Heavenly Blast: Jellal closes his fist except for two fingers and swipes his hand, creating a large orb of starlight energy, Jellal fires the orb which explodes upon physical contact, Jellal can form up to one sphere per post.

Heaven Palm: Jellal grabs his arm with his other hand and straightens his palm and forms a ball of starlight energy in his hand, it's smaller than Heavenly Blast and when fired transforms into a starlight wall which he uses to hit and push the foe away for some needed space, or can be used as a temporary shield.

Heaven Breakdown: Can only be used on places with multiple floors like buildings etc. Jellal points his hand on the ground under the foes feet, he breaks the ground below by enhancing the gravitational pull on the ground itself (not the actual foe) and as it's destroyed the foe falls below. Mainly used to buy some time.

Distortion Drive: Heavenly Body Magic: Meteor: Jellal utilizes his Ars Armagus and cloaks his entire body in a golden aura of starlight. The starlight acts as a body enhancer which doubles both his speed and strength for several minutes (3 posts) Jellal can move fast that even if you concentrate on sound or sight alone you will still have a little trouble trying to pinpoint where he will attack next. Jellal mainly uses this abilities to fire a quick barrage of punches or kick the foe back and forth with high powered attacks. Jellal can also use this technique to levitate off of the ground.


Distortion Drive: Grand Chariot, Seven Star Sword: Jellal will put his arms in front of them and spin them slowly into a circle, as he places both arms one on top of each other he will point seven fingers outwards pointing to the foe as he floats in mid air. (five on the bottom hand and two on the top) as he recites "Face the Judgement upon the Seven Stars!" Suddenly seven large pillars of light will form in front of Jellal and connect together to make what looks like a constellation. On Jellal's command the pillars of light will fire light seven large, star shaped blade like blasts that rain down onto the enemy. The impact from each of these stars rivals the strength of a small meteor.

Astral Heat: Altarias, Dark Paradise: Jellal will lift his arms up into the air charging up his Ars as he shapes them into an X formation. As he continues to charge up energy a pitch black ball of energy forms in the air above his X formed arms. As the ball gathers more energy it continues to grow and grow til it is approximately the exact same size as a Murakumo Units Cauldron. When completed the ball is pitch black and has silver sparks inside of it which looks like the emptiness void of space with the black sky and silver lining stars. When the sphere is finished charging the shadows and all darkness points into Altarias' direction showing it's dark powers. Jellal swings his arms downwards and fires the thick orb of Ars at the foe, the sphere's impact is as strong as a giant meteor and when hit the orb will instantly explode into a large, swirling storm of darkness that does incredible damage to the foe if hit on total contact.

End of Abilities

History: In his childhood Jellal was kidnapped from his parents and forced to work as a young slave for a war veteran in the NOL. When he was captured Jellal was forced into strenuous hard labor and forced to create war weapons for the NOL and Grimoires for Ars Armagus. However one day Jellal was caught trying to sabotage some of the weapons that HE himself made and was whipped and electrified as a torturing punishment. As the torturer left the chamber Jellal's hatred towards these inhumane people grew to far. As he was released from the torture he talked most of the other slave laborers to rebel against them and as they fought Jellal finally found out the strange tattoo around his right eye was actually an Ars Armagus implanted in him by his parents for protection. As he just began utilizing his Ars Armagus he finally smelled the first air of freedom as he and several others escaped on ships. However as they all departed to live their lives Jellal became the evil master mind and begun planning on how he was going to create the ultimate weapon for ruling this world.

Jellal spent several days of researching on finding such weapons to bend the planet Earth to his will, after more days passed by Jellal came up with something. While he was enslaved by the NOL he eavesdropped on some conversations, some of these conversations also included with the higher ups like Hazama from the Intelligence Department and Relius Clover from the Engineering Department. He heard several things that got his interest, he heard something strange called the Azure. They obviously weren't talking about the color of Azure something about Azure intrigued him then he heard of strange things known as Murakumo Units. He continued to grow interest, he knew what he had to do. He had to obtain these strange things luckily he studied up on the Azure and the Murakumos so he knew exactly what he was looking for. Jellal continues this day to get his hands on the weapons necessary for his over world domination. On one day Jellal found one Murakumo Unit who was never activated, it appeared she was considered a failure and left for dead. She turned out to be Zeta-6 when she was activated Jellal asked her to join his side where she accepted to give him her debt to giving her life. Jellal treats her with kindness and instead of a laborer Jellal treats Zeta like a human being and a friend. When she became loyal to him Jellal and Zeta both forged a Teleportation and Telepathy Link with each other. Jellal's true plan has been revealed, he plans to make a cyborg army by using the blueprint data of the Murakumo Units, Jellal plans to use the cyborg army (which is weaker than the Murakumo's but sheer numbers) to rule the entire world.

RP sample: http://blazbluerpg.free-forums.biz/t189-practice-fight-jellal-fernandes-vs-zeta-6-a-fateful-meeting

(OOC: I have chatted with Zeta-6 and she/he is OK with the idea of teaming up and adding her to my app.)


Last edited by Jellal Fernandes on Sun Jul 03, 2011 3:26 am; edited 29 times in total

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Jellal on Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:06 am

App is finished and ready for checking.

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Webmaster on Wed Jun 29, 2011 5:14 pm

Race: Thats a pretty far stretch, but i guess it still works.

Appearance: The appearance is supposed to explain what he looks like in detail, underneath the armor as well as above it... a single picture doesn´t tell much.

Loyality: .... DUDE. Bang is crazy, yes, but i don´t think he would let a Demon like being side with him! Even if he just operates from the shadows, Bang wouldn´t allow him to escape!

Personality: Tager with a more extreme twist. You tried to explain the loyality issue here, but seriously dude, Bang is crazy. He won´t believe you no matter what you say. If you look like an evildoer, you are one.

Weaponary: Kind of pushing it in terms of godmod, but seeing how Platinum gets away with it it might be fine... but i´m strongly suggesting to limit it. Platinum can do it because of a Nox Nyctores, which has near limitless power, but a simple Ars Armagus isn´t that strong normally. Thing is, you can counter any weapon with such a power, which is the essence of godmod.

Abilities:
Three points:

1: Along with the armor, this is complete overkill. Do slim it down. Tager gets away with being strong and and very sturdy but he has no weapons to balance that. I don´t see anything balanceing your power. In fact, its so overdone that i might disapprove for this alone.

2: Iron ore wouldn´t fuse with Titanium, ever. Also, Iron ore would make your weapons brittle and not combat worthy.

3: You fucked up the bold. Do change it to prevent eye cancer.

History:
I don´t feel like reading that much right now, but i trust you explain his past nicely.
The second part i flew over because i wanted to know why Relius would use such a powerful weapon of mass destruction go... FIRST, you discribed that he could ONLY form weapons out of his armor, NOT LIMBS. SECOND, why would he create a super weapon if he has Ignis already, which he claims to be perfect? THIRD, if the citizens of Kagutsuchi saw a flying demon come into thier city, i think they would FUCKING RUN AND CALL THE NOL. At least have some stealth, you know!

I think you have your work cut out for you. And now you know why i was hesitant about voteing on this. We let a lot of stuff slide here on the forum, but we have to draw a line somewhere or else the forum gets swarmed with undefeatable noobs, completely sucking out the fun by makeing fights entirely unwinnable and pointless.

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Webmaster on Wed Jun 29, 2011 6:02 pm

I disapprove of this character. Not just because of the overpowered abilities, because of the ludicrious idea of letting him be an Ikarugan Freedom Fighter and because of the logic holes in this sheet, but because the player also seems to be incapable to see that this character in itself doesn´t fit. It just doesn´t fit the way its designed. As Relius little toy, i can see him fit well, as an Ikarugan Freedom Fighter who doesn´t like to fight and can turn his body into fucking anything whilest looking like a huge demon..... NO.

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Guest on Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:09 am

Takuto's app has been removed, replaced with Jellal Fernandes ready for checking.

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Ragna the Bloodedge on Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:54 am

Overall I like this guy, I just have a few requests for small edits in the techniques section mostly. First, I would suggest making Heavenly Blast one orb rather than three. That way your have a quick firing attack in the form of the beams and a solitary explosive attack with the Blast. They'll compliment each other that way and differentiate a bit more. Second, I suggest combining gravitation slam and reis into one move. My reasoning is this, Reis as you've described it is just a metal ball projectile more or less. When you already have the beams of light and the explosive blasts a metal ball seems unnecessary. As for gravitational slam, since you're exerting direct control over the gravity itself, there's no visual projectile to evade which means unless your opponent godmods they're gonna get hit no matter what. So with that in min I suggest combining them, give Reis the properties of gravity slam so if the ball hits then the gravity smashes em. Lastly, the Astral worries me. While every characters astral is devastating, it's never outright stated the opponent will die if hit so please remove the words "killing the opponent". I know, I'm an ass for details. XD Other than that I'm worried over the fact that this incredibly crippling ball of gravity isn't just huge, it hauls the opponent inside it making it almost impossible to evade for certain characters.

I may be overreacting but those are my suggestions. I think the character can work very well but just needs a few tweeks here and there. Shoot me a PM if you have any questions/comments/concerns/demands.


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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Guest on Fri Jul 01, 2011 3:16 am

Edited to your liking Ragna.

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Ragna the Bloodedge on Fri Jul 01, 2011 3:29 am

He's certainly very powerful but I like the idea of a legitimate antagonist other than Hazama and the NOL running around. Plus he seems like he'd be able to throw down with canon characters which is necessary if you're gonna be a good villain. While it may be the very edge of what I'll approve (to quote tager) you're still within my estimates.

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EDIT: Do me a solid and lose the life link.

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Guest on Sat Jul 02, 2011 7:01 pm

I hate this character already. I really do. His abilities make no sense, he´s a crossover which doesn´t fit to Blazblue all that well and on top of that, he´s overpowered as all hell.
But, i`ll be watching this and see if the Life Link goes away, the Ars Magus is better explained/changed to something more believeable and if the powers are weakened. We don´t need a second Terumi, nor do we want one. You`re either a filler badguy or you´re none at all.

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Torakaka on Sat Jul 02, 2011 10:17 pm

I...I'm sorry meow. Gravity powers and black holes are a big, godmodding no-no in my books. The starlight thing is fine with me, but being capable of manipulating gravity creates inevitable Gary-Stuness

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Guest on Sun Jul 03, 2011 3:09 am

I nerfed down Jellal's powers to some extent, for example I completely removed Jellal's gravity move Reis and changed his Astral Heat Altarias instead of sucking them up and crushing them with incredible gravity the black sphere just hits on contact and explode in a swirling storm of darkness. Also he can't use gravity or black holes at all andI no longer have a life-link, instead Jellal and Zeta have a weaker link where we can talk via telepathy and she can teleport by my side when I'm in danger.

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Guest on Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:14 pm

Whatever.

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Ragna the Bloodedge on Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:39 pm

Two quick points. First, the Astral having the force of a giant meteor gave me pause but certain aspects of the astrals are meant to be over the top. Tager uses the opponent as a heat shield for re-entry and Makoto destroys the damn moon in hers for example so I can overlook it. The other thing are the murakumo blueprints. I want you to rp your quest to find them, if they even exist that is. Don't just start off with them. Any complaints of godmod and I'll delete this oc immediately. Don't let me down dude.

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Torakaka on Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:26 pm

Alright ^^

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Re: Jellal Fernandes {Finished}

Post by Webmaster on Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:45 pm

TORAKAKA LEARN HOW TO COMPLETE A FINAL VOTE

Locked, dropped, approved. With great displeasure.

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